This blog, like many things in my life, has been neglected. I’ve stopped writing almost all together. I no longer paint. I picked up my crotchet hook the other day, started on a scarf, and it lays on my desk, untouched and unfinished, and I lack the motivation to keep going at this point. On the opposite side of that, this year, I have relearned the guitar and taught myself numerous things on the ukulele.

I guess life really is all about sacrifices.

Everyone talks about new years resolutions this time of year.. I, for one, am not really a fan.

I am constantly on a resolution of dropping the last 20 pounds I wanna lose. I am always trying to teach myself to be a better person.

While I succeeded at the first resolution this year, I failed at the second. I screwed over a lot of people this year. I’ve used, lied to, and took for granted far too many people this year. A simple apology could never be enough for the people I’ve hurt most.

But most of all, I hurt myself. I sit here with the guilt associated with using, lying, and so on. I also sit here with no way to fix it. Not right away, anyways. Sure, there are things I can do to make it better for some. For others, maybe just simply not knowing the truth will do the trick. But then I’m caught in a lie of omission. How do you say, “Hey, sorry I haven’t talked to you lately, but I was just using you, and I no longer need you?” Or how do you tell someone he was pretty much right when he said I just didn’t want to be alone, something I denied for months. How do you tell someone that, now that he’s gone, you wish you could do everything over when you told him previously that you didn’t want him?

You can’t. I can’t. All I can hope for is that in this new year, no. The rest of my life, I can continuously work to be honest with people. I can work to say exactly what I mean, and only that. Hopefully, I can learn not to lash out at those who care.

If you’ve read this, and you’re still by my side, I thank you. If you read this, and I’ve already lost you, know that I’m sorry.

Also, “less dramatic” has made its way to the top of my list too. 😉

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Today’s weather was just strange.

Rain, rain, rain. Sun, sun, sun. RAINBOW?!

The lighting on the street was incredible.

I havent touched these in photoshop yet, but i am very excited to do so.

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Oh Jeeze.

I’ve started on another project. Maybe I’ll finish this one?

I totally forgot about the bitchin’ banner I made for this the other day…

I drew this with an ink pen at work the other day in between calls (who am I kidding, during calls, too.).

I think the face on the fish is the best… And would you say the crab looks… crabby? oh ho ho.

I need sleep.

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Oh, crap-a-doodle-do.

I really need to not complain to other people about their lack of blogging when my own has suffered lately as well.

Ukulele Progress. Its pretty bitchin, if i do say so myself.

He’s so darling…

So, this isn’t so much an actual post, so much as a way to ease myself back into actually writing. I think a replacement notebook will be coming my way soon so I am able to start up all my projects I’ve given up on with the loss of convenience. Hehe.

Spring is also inspiring me to take more photos. We’ll see how that goes.
OH. AND MISSOULA M, YOU WILL BE … Climbed? Clumb? Oh who gives a shit. I’ll be at the top.. soon enough.

P.s. I am totally aware that Clumb is not a word…

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Sometimes things just get too overwhelmingly hard to deal with. Nothing in particular,really,

just things.

I’m really tired of mood swings though. They don’t make life any easier.

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It always nice when there are so many things in life that you just don’t need to change.

But, since change has been a constant theme in my life, it is also know that i have control over changing simple things, such as re-arranging the furniture, or.. coloring my hair. =)

the orange-ish glow of my bathroom makes this look different than it really is. Our house is in no way optimal for taking pictures. But, a nice chocolate brown suits me quite well, I do believe.

Although, looking at this picture, i do realize that one of my eyes seems kind of lazy. Maybe its because i’m utterly exhausted from this 40 hours work week i just finished… =) woo!

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On a less somber note..

Work is good. hah. So is getting home at the PROPER time for the first time… With my two hour delay monday, and my shift at gap yesterday, it was incredible to come home, and relax immediately after work. =)

Hard to believe that the baby attached to that hand is starting to grow up….

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